a letter

dear stop and go traffic,


i dislike your ability to drain my gas tank and delay my arrival on a consistent basis. i'm writing to tell you that i do not wish to continue our association any longer than it has already and to tell you that i hate you. please do not write back, as i am requesting that you do not come into contact with me in any form ever again.


sincerely,
brianna

pulling pieces back together

It takes the realization that you are broken and that those you have chosen to surround yourself with are not helping that situation to really wake up.

This realization came.

I'm learning.

Pen and Notebook

If I had to describe how I feel at this time, I have only these few simple words: I am not the same.

That is all.

More to come soon.

Sorry for my inability to keep an update journal.

Wait, no, I'm not sorry.

Talk to me in person if you want an up to date account of my life.

What I'm listening to: Annie Waits by Ben Folds.

Well, hello!

For the one person that may read this-sorry for not updating in months. Why, you might be wondering, have I not posted in awhile? Where in the world is Brianna?
If that is the question on your mind, I've got an answer for you. I've also got answers for many other questions, but let's discuss this one for now.
I just finished up my freshman year of college. Yipee! Isn't that exciting? My life has been in hustle & bustle mode for what seems to be forever now. I'm constantly up to something crazy. Right now, I'm interning at Mountain View Nazarene for the two student ministries pastors, Luke Duerre and Mat Von Ehrenkrook. This has made my life extremely busy, but each day is a brand new adventure and what more could you ask for? Seriously.
I've also been doing quite a bit of soul searching. Throughout this crazy time, I've had a lot to think about. There is a major time of decision heading my way. I think I'm ready, but in all actuality, that's doubtable. I might act like I'm mature, but all you have to do is drive next to me and watch me dance like the true insane person I am to find out that isn't true. As I sit here drinking delicious mineral water, I know that this summer is going to be incredible in every way possible.
That's whats going on. More to come soon...maybe.

Random fact about me: The letter "I" is my least favorite letter of the alphabet.
Random fact, in general:In the early days of fire fighting, the Dalmatian served an important purpose. They not only made good watchdogs, they also formed very close bonds with the station horses and kept them company.
What I'm listening to : "Mykonos" by Fleet Foxes/ "My only offer" by Mates of State

oh perspective.

 Have you ever had one of those moments where you just feel like saying, "I already know that life is unfair, I don't need the reminder. Thanks."?

 I definitely had one in the wee hours this morning when reality finally started to settle back in.  Just needed that little reminder that yes, this is what I want, and no, you aren't going to get it. 

Harsh, right? Not really when you truly put it into perspective. As a fallible human being, I often want things that just aren't good for me. I often have terrible ideas that lead into bad situations which are unpleasant, to say the least. God knows much better than me what I need, yet I still insist on getting what I want. 

 What is wanting, anyways? Isn't it just desiring something, with or without a purpose for that want? More often than not I find myself wanting something without a clear reason behind that desire. Now, what is a need? A need is something that you require. Right now, I need some sleep. Is that going to happen? Not until after 10:50 a.m. when my classes are over, but yes, eventually I will have to get some sustaining sleep. Not because I want it (even though it sounds rather nice right at this moment), but because I need it. If I was given everything I've ever wanted, what good what that do? Would that serve to better the world, or just me? Millions of people around the world are suffering because they don't get what they need, yet I complain when I don't get everything exactly the way I pictured it or if my latte has an off taste to it. 

"Because you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need."

amen.