if you try sometimes you just might find

Lately,  I've realized that I've been a very self-centered person. My friends have been gracious and loving through it all, but I've dragged them through quite the mess.
It is sort of a pattern in my life that when things don't work out well or exactly how i wanted them to, I dwell. Not for a moment. Oh no. It's almost as if I protest happiness. I don't want to get better; I form a sit-in of frustration against joy. I become my own worst enemy by disallowing myself to try to pick up the pieces and get my life back together.
This pattern is one I'd like to stop and I've decided to make a conscious effort to channel my energy back into focusing on only the necessary, what I need, and moving back into a mode of living a life to serve others. Also, thank you to the people who have stuck by my side through all this. I could not have asked for a better support system. Thank you.