Well, I've been absent from just about everything lately. Don't feel so bad if you haven't known everything that has been going on, because well, not much has honestly been going on. That's sort of a lie, but just sort of. Things have been going on, but not that i would like to talk about or have anything to say about. What a conundrum of sorts to be in. I'll be glad when this semester is over, but the uncertainty of summer still sits over my head right now. Remembering what i thought summer would be like in October makes me want to laugh and cry simultaneously. My how things change.
Silly, isn't it? Making plans. Recently, at a place I'd soon like to forget, i saw a sticker that said, "we must be willing to give up the life that we have planned in order to live the life that is waiting for us." I'm not quite sure how I feel about this, but then again, I am a planner. My moleskine might submit a restraining order soon if I don't stop overusing him. At the same time, I'm not a fan of the concept that life is waiting for me in the destiny sense. If life is all based on fate, I was dealt an unfair hand. Fate lacks comfort for me that others find so readily in it.
I don't really feel like I need to recap what all has happened as of late. Nor do I particularly want to. Things are consistent. I'm still Brianna. I still don't like exclamation marks. I still think rain is the best form of weather and the scent of lavender makes the blues go away. Things change, but they also stay the same.
Someone told me recently that she didn't mean to offend me, but that I seem distant and that I like to be private. By this, I'm fairly certain she meant to say that I come off as cold, when I'm actually not, but that she didn't want to say that. Rather than taking offense, I thought it was hilarious. I'm not sure what this says about me. I've been finding the worst possible things funny lately. Things that should hurt me, but instead, making me want to burst out in laughter. It's different and I'm not sure if I want it to go away. It's sort of refreshing, in a "I'm rubber, you're glue" sort of way.
This wasn't coherent, but bear with me.
please.
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1 comment:
this blog post could have been mine as well. such a planner. things never go the way i thought they would i like that quote you had in there, "we must be willing to give up the life that we have planned in order to live the life that is waiting for us.". so true. but very hard. all my life i'll struggle with this i think. i'm glad you blogged. maybe i'll start back up again. i just said i would probably not blog very much anymore but, well, i change my mind a lot. if you keep blogging, i'll blog. somedays i don't think anything happened, but i'm sure i can tell my blog world something. :)
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